Should I or Shouldn't I?

Welcome back to me!

Let's just say... I've been busy...

Im not sure if I should begin this blogging relationship again or not, as it always feels like another thing I can't get to and another thing that I am not doing properly... But who doesn't need a vent every once in a while hey?

So here it is...

*THE* past 6 weeks:

1.) Gave birth (both ways...naturally and via caesarean) to TWO more gorgeous and bright girls, sisters for my Isabelle, on New Years Eve 2010...the best (and most difficult) New Years Eve ever...(will post the letter I wrote to my girls the day after they were born, soon.)

2.) had a house full of guests.

3.) Worried. Stressed. Cried. Got angry. Got sleep deprived. Felt ugly.

4.) Felt pretty. Fell in love...twice...Laughed. Shopped online. Felt relieved. Took photos.

5.) Became employed as a full-time milk maid again...to two hungry babes with the joys of leaking breast-milk on my clothes so i always look like a hobo.

6.) Re-acquainted myself with cold cups of tea, Nanna panties, the birds-nest hair do...

7.) Felt empowered. Felt Scared. Felt Challenged. Felt blessed.

24 Hours in the life of Anna...my first day without anyone here to help me...all day (Monday the 7th of February):

Bed: 9pm.

9.30pm: Fell asleep by accident with a restless Ava

All night...lost sense of time and space...fed on and off all night to Ava and Sophie. Sophie very unsettled. I blame the coleslaw I ate yesterday...

5am-5.45am: feeding...got sick of being in my room where the babies can smell me. Went to husband's "bedroom" (the spare room)

7am: after passing out sometime between that time, decide I need a coffee. Luke goes and fetches us one from Gloria Jeans. Best husband. EVER.

8.30am: more feeding. Got pooed on...a liquid yellow poo. The couch and feeding pillow copped it too. Luke cleaned it. Best husband. EVER.

9.00am: Gave Isabelle breakfast.

9.00am: Made my breakfast. I think it got eaten before 10...fed Ava a top up feed.

9.30am: tidied bedrooms. Put a load of washing on. Thought I had this parent thing down pat. Put "Dora the Explorer" on for Isabelle because she asks....and I want to get some things done.

10.00am: got my new cookbook, Nigella Express and 4 new breastfeeding tops delivered in the mail.

Whoohoo! (Bec, I'm a whoohoo girl :)

10.05am: Fed Sophie (I was trying to get them to wait until 11.30)

10.30am fed them both

11am-12am top up feeds with bottle...i'm sick of them feeding off me. In between trying to get them to bed poach some chicken for lunch. Sit Isabelle down with a tub of yogurt and other snacks. A poor lunch for her today.

12 noon: Luke comes home...I haven't taken out the bread for our sandwiches...I feel bad but I just forgot...how could I forget such a simple thing?! I feel stupid...I can handle this mum thing can't I?! Can I remember to take out bread???

12.15pm: "Isabelle...stop climbing out your chair and EAT YOUR LUNCH..." "Ok then you have to go to bed!" Put Isabelle to bed...bliss!!! I eat my lunch, poached chicken & salad sandwiches...need to eat healthy to feed the girls. check.

12.45pm: Absolute bliss!!! What do I do, what do I do?! Clean? Blog? No...just sit down with a cuppa in peace...resist the urge to clean...I put away the dishes. Then sit down...phew. Watch TV with Luke during his lunch break. Babies stir. Settle them back down again.

1.30pm: Already?! Wake Isabelle up. Give her a quick cuddle and lie her in front of the TV...the girls are fussing again. :(

1.30-2.30: BLUR...I think I did something!

2.00pm Luke helps me set up a debit mastercard account...I get stressed at the bank lady and hang up...stupid idea...now I have to go through all the prompts again on the phone :(

2pm: "Luke hurry up! My boobs are getting full and I need to express before the girls wake up! Hurry!" Holding a hungry Sophie.

2.30pm: finally feed Sophie and Ava...they lasted too long without a feed..means my night will be hard.

3.30pm: put girls down for a nap. Ava settles Sophie doesn't. When Sophie settles, Ava doesn't...I just want to spend some non-TV time with my big girl...I promise to take her outside.

4.00pm: Take Isabelle outside...I should make the salad but I need to carry through with my promise to Isabelle...20 minutes of interrupted time by Ava of playing chasey...we did see the most awesome Kookaburras on our fence though. Isabelle was gobsmacked...so worth the stress of trying to get some "alone" time with Belle.

4.20pm: Quick visit to Daddy's office.

4.25pm: Ava is crying. Give Isabelle a cupcake to distract her from taking her inside.

4.15pm-5.15pm: feed the twins.

5.00pm: DADDY COMES HOME!!! Give him a big smile. I am glad you are back! We sit together with a baby each on the couch. Isabelle joins us...we probably should have sat on the big couch together. It gets squishy...but it feels special.

5.15pm: Daddy starts Isabelle's dinner.

5.40pm: Settle babies into bed while daddy gets our dinner ready.

6.15pm: We eat our dinner while watching the news. It is peaceful in our home for a short while.

I stack the dishwasher and do some light tidying. Then sit back down and sit still while I can.

6.45pm: begin feeding again...babies are demanding it...they were meant to wait until 7.15pm...I am such a sucker :(

Amongst the feeding and changing nappies this goes on until I suggest to Luke we top them up with bottles...7.45pm.

7.45 until 9.30pm: we spend the nest few hours trying to settle the girls with a concoction of feeding and Mylanta and holding...I said I was going to help them "self-soothe" tonight...but alas...they are babies and don't do what we want.

9.30pm: take their bassinets to my room...feed again for half an hour before they fall asleep... They are happy until 10.45pm...

A full on 24 hours...but each day is a new adventure...hopefully each new day will bring more peace!