Thursday, March 3, 2011

My Mini Thesis: Diets are not conducive to parenthood & the myth of the Supermum...

(legitimate ads from the 1930's-50's:

Firstly I would just like to say...I am eating pretty healthily right now. I crave the right foods, a bright colored salad, chilled water, fruits and veggies...but after prolonged screaming...not mine I assure you (mostly...) but anyone of the three girls, usually two at once, (most of the time at least one child gives me a break!) I hit the chocolate in any favorite...dark roasted almond... But really any ol' chocolate eaten hastily would do the job before I "go in" for another dose of mild can one baby fight sleep for that long? Times two?!

Also...for the record, please don't ask me how I am going, because it seems I jinx myself regardless of what I say. Today I said, things are going really well! I was bright and chipper to each person that stopped me in the street, I said I had bad days but mostly I had good ones and I had very good babies... Eeeerrrrrr ... Wrong! When you say things are going well...know that for the next 24 hours you will pay for that statement...because your children heard that comment and now have to keep you in line, just in case you get too used to being calm and controlled. And if I happen to life is going to the dogs...I'm so tired and life is an absolute blur...the kids will act like angels...what's wrong with that scenario you may ask? It messes with your mind!!!!! Am I going insane?! This isn't as hard as you complained about! What are you sniveling at?! Anyone can see it's a walk in the park (which I fail to remember is quite difficult these days anyway when I push a monster-car pram) and the inner monologue starts again...

Which brings me to my last and final point, the notion of the *super-mum*...a crazy and fictitious enigma in the truest sense. Contrary to popular belief, I doubt the 50's wife had it all in guess is that she took her little bitty dose of speed (or PEP cereal...probably containing illegal levels of pseudoephedrine) to get through her day of ironing pleats, laying meatloaf on the table with her best china and silverware, and combing the cat's hair to perfection...and all the while her children Fanny and Stan are playing kindly and gently with their blocks in the corner...that my friends, is the black & white tv version...I say we have come along way....and I am super glad I don't have to wake up at four after a long night with unsettled children just so I can maintain a perfect household. Because seriously...that would be impossible, especially after the night I had... And then there is the modern *super-mum*...who is supposed to do all that PLUS go to work as well...sounds like hell on earth to me.

But even though that version of *super-mum* just doesn't exist, or if it did, what was the cost? I came to the conclusion about a year ago, after hearing a beautiful friend of mine talk about the difficulty she was facing with her daughter's bad sleeping patterns, similar to what I had been experiencing with Isabelle. A *super-mum* or (super-dad, since Luke soothes Isabelle these days!) is the mum who is up many times one night trying to soothe and calm a sad little child...despite needing sleep so badly her eyelids are prematurely saggy. A *super-mum* is the mum who has a toddler chucking a sparkling tantrum in the shops because she's not getting what she wants. A *super-mum* is the mum who is living a normal life, with piles of washing waiting to be folded, books out of line on the shelf and crumbs under the couch seats... (I hate those!) a *super-mum* is just a normal person dealing with pretty constant and demanding situations each day...cos there's no pride having perfect kids who are perfect EVERYDAY just by themselves...there's no work in that! (although, I sure wish they were!) in fact you make other mums feel bad if you have achieved this wonderful enlightened mum state! Be real mums, and be 'super' because of both the 'good' and 'bad' times.

Maybe I'm just writing this to make myself feel better and less guilty for all the areas that I fail in. But I know that women in general feel a lot of guilt. Guilt for not having the perfectly clean home; job; body; family; lifestyle; skills; for not having the academic record we would like or for not ringing our family more often. We wish for more rather than enjoying the here and now...the moment that is presented before us. I know I do. Every night when Luke and I have had a full on day, his work and then coming home to cyclone Spilsbury and me living with that cyclone for all hours of the day except for maybe half an hour of pure peace while the girls overlap with their sleeps (I'm working in refining that pattern) we remind each other "it's not forever..." just fleeting moment in the scheme of things really.

After all that, I'd like to say I'll go have some chocolate now...but its too late...I scoffed a snickers about an hour ago...


  1. You know what! I think you're a super mum. Because I look at your little girl and she is happy, healthy, confident, developing in leaps and bounds, curious, cheeky, aware that she is so loved and that's a job well done. You and I both know that true love is giving up your life for someone else..... and I'd say that you give up yours everyday for those 3 little *plop chops*(baggy eyelids and crumbs under your couch). In this season (which as a grandmother once said 'this too shall pass')you've been gifted for exactly what you've been called too and I think you're doing a SMASHING FINE job of it! Besides.... meatloaf is so yesterday. I love You xox

  2. :) I love you too Bec. Thanks.

  3. Totally true. Supermums are normal mums... but they're the ones the other mums look at and think, "Wow... I could take a leaf out of her book." It's the way I look at you Anna xx